People often wonder what true love looks like and then create their own definitions inspired from movies and novels. But for me, it was a real life experience. I witnessed firsthand what is to be loved truly and unconditionally by watching life of my mother, Doris Witherspoon and her husband James P. Witherspoon Sr.

My mother has been married three times. Through it all I have been blessed with three wonderful fathers. They all were different in their own special ways and they all loved me. 

Sometimes, I feel like my mother thinks that she has failed me from not seeing what true love is. But, little does she know that with all of her marriages I was blessed to see the love and feel it. I learned what I deserve, what is it to be loved and most importantly, how to treat my man as my King. However, I am also aware about my own rights. So, if at any point I am not being treated the way I deserve, I know I must leave.

A Blessed Union

My mother and father James were married for seventeen years. They were friends before that. Mom loves helping people, and I get that from her. I love the story of how he asked her to come to Detroit so she can help to negotiate the sale of his house. He was planning to move back to his home city and state of Columbus, TN, after it was over. So, mom went to help him in getting his house cleaned out and ready for realtors. And, when it was ready, the grandfather clock chimed. The surprising part was that it has never chimed after the death of Dad’s late wife so they took it as a sign from his late wife as if giving them the ‘OK’ to be together.

However, this was not the only sign. When both mom and dad visited a friend Mrs. Maggie Townsend in hospital before leaving for TN, she told mom that he was going to be her new husband. Those confirmations further strengthened my mother’s faith in their union that indeed they were blessed from above and were meant to be together. Shortly after that, mom took me and my brother Aundre out to eat and informed us that Mr. Witherspoon had asked her to marry him. It was so nice watching my mother find love again like a little school girl.

Then came the great day of 17^th May in 2003 when I saw my mother as a bride with a huge smile adorning her beautiful face. It was a blessing for me to be part of their great union along with my brother who was equally happy and excited. When Dad married my mother, he not only loved her, but also made sure to treat me and my brother like his own children. He even loved our children to the point that he became one of their favorite grandparents. This just shows how kind and lovable person he was. My brother and I will always be grateful for having him in our lives.

Watch “James Witherspoon Show Me You Love Me” on YouTube https://youtu.be/E_eU3anwPO8

Being A Rock For A King

Fast forward to this last year, mother found out that her husband was fighting cancer. It was a heart wrenching shock. However, being a strong woman she is, not only did she accept it with great courage but also went in action from day one to ensure that all his health and legal needs were taken care of. 

And it was during those hard times that we saw and understood the meaning of true love.

Mom made sure that he was always comfortable during travel and even got a van specially made just for his type of care. She didn’t want dad to always lie in bed because he still had a lot of living to do. So, she did everything to make him live his life to the fullest until he takes his last breath. I watched how she ordered my dad’s food and then sent it back if it wasn’t specifically to his likings and taste.

I remember how my queen mother always ensured that his dignity is always in tacked as she shaved, bathed and dressed him. Even at the worst health, dad looked clean and sharp as a tack like always as if he was doing it all himself. 

When dad got down sick and despair clouded his thoughts, she was there for him to lean on. If the doctors or the military were not treating him right and not caring for him as they were supposed to do, she went to battle and hey she is prior service so it was nothing new for her to go and fight for her loved ones. Every time, I watched her with awe how she took care of all his personal needs and proved that love is not just an emotion to fall and enjoy only. Rather, it’s a promise.

Challenging  Days

She made it her 24/7 mission to give a quality and stress free life to dad even during those time when family members tried to defy wishes of my dad Witherspoon. She immediately declined and took care of any request that was against my father’s wishes. My mother had to not only deal with the medical and business part for him but also the family members that were supposed to love him and support his decisions.

During this battle, I learned that whatever your wishes are, get them on paper in a legal document ASAP while you’re still in your right mind and body. Yes, my dad-Witherspoon did it too. But, sadly, those family members tried to fight that.

However, those relatives lost the precious moments as well in the process that they could have spent with my Dad Witherspoon in his final days. He passed away on May 31, 2020 after living a long respectful life. Unfortunately, he left this Earth without being able to be on good standing with those family members and did not get to see them. This breaks my heart and I know it breaks my mother’s too as she had to see and go through the pain that dad was feeling at that time and how deeply it affected him. 

My dad was born on May 20, 1935 and named James Paul Witherspoon SR. Many know him by his nick name (JW) and those that followed his music knew him as The Blues Healer. In the music business, he was referred as Doc to all his musicians he performed with.

In His Honor 

You can also check out his CD namely The Blues Healen which is available on both YouTube and Amazon. It was his desire to move back to Tennessee and promote his new CD. However, when he met his love Doris Witherspoon (mom), he pursued her instead and the rest was history.

I am sharing this because I think that everyone should remember this famous kindhearted man who loved the blues and played the heck out of a Saxophone. And, how a queen took care of this king until death did them apart.

You died loved and you will truly be missed James Paul Witherspoon (JW), (The Blues Healer)